What you have to do when you grow up is to deal with emotions.
there is a rule that applies to most relationships:
"when two people start to communicate, if one party often says' people like me....' As the beginning of the conversation, he probably won't make any changes after the communication. "
the last time I felt this way was one afternoon a long time ago, with my best friend at that time.
I have to say, people are really strange sometimes.
it is obvious that something has passed so long that it is too long to say the exact time, and I can't remember what was being argued about at that time.
but you can remember clearly the flushed faces of both sides and the "you're so fucking unreasonable" expression on your face.
of course, this kind of experience from theory to blushing usually occurs when you are young because you have different views on a little thing.
the older you grow up, the more hidden the contradictions between people will be, the more friendly they are on the surface, and the more stubborn they will be in private.
that's why, later on, I try to avoid reasoning with adults.
after all, human nature is the sum of their experiences: you can't expect to change the worldview shaped by a person's decades of circumstances.
it's not a matter of right or wrong, it's the power of habit.
"Why do you keep ignoring me?"
"but I've been waiting for you at home all day."
"then I will never talk to you again."
and in this stiff atmosphere, the angry one is often the first to resist (which is also the easiest part to dig a hole for yourself):
"you play games." what are you doing?
either keep a hard mouth or panic.
so after a period of time, there will be the following scene:
"I haven't played for a long time, and I've been with you."
Don’t you think that it is time to add some super trendy long sleeve prom dresses to your wardrobe? Our huge collections of are better than the rest.
"can you be reasonable?"
after all, whether it is unrequited accommodation or betrayed trust, it is a legitimate reason to accumulate grievances.
at this time, things fall into an endless cycle of "unreasonable".
if nothing happens, with the rapid secretion of epinephrine, more extreme thoughts will soon appear in your mind.
and only after a long time, when you look back on "how a relationship is defeated by little things", you suddenly realize:
it turns out that "I won't play anymore." It's not really "Why are you ignoring me?" The optimal solution of
and "I haven't played for a long time." And "the point is that you don't mean what you say." It's not talking about the same problem at all.
it is not possible to blindly back down things that cannot be solved by reason.
and blindly admitting mistakes (admitting mistakes) will only make the problem shift to a more serious level inadvertently.
you only need to listen to reason when you are young, and what you need to do when you grow up is to deal with emotions.
but the key to dealing with emotions is not to suppress your thoughts, much less to change your original position.
but after feeling aggrieved and angry, you know the causes of your grievances and anger, and you can also distinguish the causes of the other person's emotions.
even when you think both sides are right, you can calm down and guide each other first.
is not regretting their departure, but regretting that it is "inappropriate" to raise decibels;
rather than understatement "not worth it".
songs /Zhou an-like fish
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